Romance

Well, I thought I might resurrect my blog after a couple of years of no posts.  I will start with the subject of romance.  Yes, I am still in my life trying to find that one, true, unconditional, supportive love of my life.  Who knew it would take my entire life to find this man!  But yes, I guess if you are a bit independent and driven to do what you are in this life, true love seems to avoid you.

And, having dabbled with online dating, like the entire country is doing…world, actually…I have found myself to be a magnet for the Nigerian Romance Scammers.  Ahh yes, to add insult to injury.  They come on strong and they are good!  I understand American creeps are the ones that write the scripts for these scammers because these Nigerians know every nuance, bits of American life for realistic conversation, and yes, they know how to hijack your heart in about 2 days.  It is too good to be true and you have to look past your own personal intimate needs, and take a hard look at a bunch of crap that these people are telling you, in the “name of love.”

The ultimate goal of course, is to have you empty your bank account for them.  Luckily for me, I am snide and cynical and won’t give anybody money other than my own siblings (who never ask for it, by the way), and I have saved myself that horrific scenario.  The first time this happened to me, about 4 years ago, it went on for 6 weeks.  I was so flattered but a couple of friends of mine offered to help me do some background checks and decipher a couple of the pictures this man sent to me. These pictures, by the way, are stolen pictures of models, etc.  With my friends help, my own intuition, and then the help of a website devoted to these issues, I was able to confront the scammer.  Well!  When I did, the names he called me and the insults and wow!  All of a sudden the “unconditional love” turned to crap!  Instantly!  Now, I understand that these people are connected to terrorists in Nigeria.  And yes, there are women and men who are scammed by these people to the point where they hand over thousands of dollars.  Me?  When the guy started asking for plane fare for his niece to get home to the States because her father died, and she was abandoned by her boyfriend in Africa, I basically told him she’s an idiot and I’m not bankrolling anybody that stupid. hahahahaha…I don’t think he expected that!

So I avoided handing over any money.  And I eventually talked with moderators on a scamming website, who told me to halt communication, abort and block the IM address.  I did.  Immediately.  And yes, there are people who still are so “in love” that they can’t understand the horrible situation they are in.  And some people have actually cultivated relationships with these losers, who start using the poor person to ship packages to, like those including illegal drugs, at which point the FBI shows up on their doorstep.  So this is no joke.  And unfortunately, these scammers play on our intimate need for love.  We honest humans all have this intimate need and sometimes don’t think straight when this need hasn’t been filled in a long time. Like me, who at this writing hasn’t had a relationship in 10 years.

So here I am again, dabbling in online dating, and yes again, some nice man approaches me and supposedly is a civil engineer in Newton getting ready to retire.  And yes, after a brief chat on the dating website, he wants to call, and then he texts and emails, and poof…in 2 days he’s in love.  All day texts, texts to ask if I’ve read his email…smothering.  I asked him to slow down since this is way too much too soon.  Yes, he agreed even though he didn’t slow down.  And yes, again I got suspicious and looked up this scamming website again, and yes, confronted the man, politely but nonetheless, and yes, all contact immediately stopped.  Well.  So much for his honesty and “needing to hear my voice” and all the protestations of wanting to be with me and make me happy.  Nothing.  The end.

Well, I am still trying to not give up and throw in the towel or think that all I’m good for is Nigerian Romance Scammers, even though my last 2 “relationships” have been with these people.  I seem to be batting 1,000.  And I’m not getting any younger so I’m trying to not think that true love is lost for me.  But I think I will give up on the dating websites.  They haven’t been kind to me.  And I feel uncomfortable on them anyway.  After all, I shop for shoes online.  Trust me, online dating is just not all it’s cracked up to be.  And I don’t even know what it’s cracked up to be!  But it’s been nothing for me but heartache.  Time to go!

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